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Hair Piece Distracting From The Face Of Change
Authored by Jeff Risdon - 31st March, 2008 - 2:56 pm
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The NFL Owners Meetings convene this week, and one of the more popular topics will be the proposal to ban excessive hair protruding from the back of the helmet. While that may or may not be a good idea, the owners will spend time discussing it and other cosmetic changes instead of focusing on heading off a potential game-changing labor dispute.
The NFLPA has the option to opt out of the current collective bargaining agreement (CBA) this November, and if that happens, the NFL as we know it will likely cease to exist. Even though there isn’t a great deal the owners can accomplish right now in terms of working with the union on revising and/or extending the current CBA, this is the time for ownership to take preemptive action towards heading off a lockout, strike, or fundamental change in business.
Any successful corporate bigwig will tell you that in order to stay on top, you have to anticipate changes and plan for how to handle them. Getting caught with your pants down and then having to scour neighboring stalls for scratchy scraps of toilet paper is a ticket to the poor house or a government-funded buyout by your arch-rival (see Bear Stearns). November is just precious months away; now is the prime time for ownership to formulate a unified plan of attack. The pending issues are no secret--the players want a bigger slice of the revenue pie by factoring in more revenue streams, better benefits for retirees, no hard salary cap or maximum wage scale, and less restriction on personal freedoms and expression, as well as a few other more minor issues.
Ownership appears to be content to keep any proactive approach on the back burner. I’m not saying they’re not going to discuss it, and some owners will loudly push for a cohesive, comprehensive plan of action. But too often ownership puts off any serious talk of impending labor issues until the last minute, and judging by the talk leading into this week, it appears it’s more of the same old. Instead of agreeing to a revenue percentage for the players they can all stomach, they’ll spend a day arguing the merits of allowing a team to defer to the second half when they win the coin toss. In place of forcing the players to a sensible rookie wage scale (something most veteran players would readily concede as a bargaining chip), the owners will debate the acceptable length of hair coming out of the helmets. Remember, this is an ownership bloc that once forced a strike in part because of intense discussion over proper sock length and coloration instead of dealing with the labor elephants parading around the room.
I try to remain optimistic about the future of the NFL. After all, both ownership and labor are enjoying record revenues and salaries, record ratings, and contracts, and the domination of the sports landscape, and I like to believe neither side is callow enough to jeopardize all that. Surely they all saw what happened to the NHL, which apparently is back in business again after their lost season (although I haven’t actually seen any evidence!). These people didn’t get enough money to own an NFL franchise by being poor businessmen, and now that Art Modell and Georgia Frontiere are gone almost everyone actually had to work hard to become an owner. The players (hopefully) understand the game is bigger than them, although how much bigger is a chip Gene Upshaw & Co. play very adeptly. And, the November opt-out won’t impact the league until the 2010 season. By that time the Lions might even be contenders!
Back to the hair for a minute…this is an issue that I take quite personally. Back when Bret Michaels was better known as a singer than a reality/porn star, I sported hair that would have covered the nameplate on my football uniform. But I spent my summers working at a large amusement park (America’s Roller Coast--oh how I loathe that phrase!) where our hair was not allowed to touch our collars. Every year I fought the rule, trying in vain to scrunch up my pseudo-mullet (it was long in the front too, and I have the pictures to prove it!) or tuck under the collar, or demand the rule apply to ladies as well. In short, I strongly believe a person’s hair is an expression of his persona, and some people (including all women) just look better with longer hair. If Al Harris, Troy Polamalu, or A.J. Hawk want to risk getting their flowing locks yanked on the field, that’s their prerogative. Plus, I was always taught it’s the name on the front of the jersey that is important not the one on the back. Even Polamalu’s gigantic fro doesn’t obscure the large numbers on his back.
This is not something that needs to be outlawed by the No Fun League. Pacman Jones shaved off his hair, yet he’s still frequenting strip clubs with an alarming disregard for his professional future. You want to clean up the image of the few bad apples in the league? Forget about the hair and instead continue to issue more severe suspensions for criminal conduct--and that includes DUI and weapons charges, two fairly common infractions that the league doesn’t take nearly serious enough. Or, try and look forward by creating a template for labor negotiation success without tarnishing the golden goose that keeps laying you giant eggs full of cash and popularity. Trust me, people won’t care about player’s hair length if nobody is playing the game or can afford to go to the games.
The author no longer sports long hair, much to his wife’s delight. He can be reached at Jeff.Risdon@RealGM.com.
