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Buster's Report: Karl Rove Working Closely With New England

31st October, 2007 - 10:39 pm

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By Buster Gunning

In the midst of the media hype of the fabled match-up between the undefeated New England Patriots and Indianapolis Colts, a new dagger to the proverbial hearts of the Patriots' organization has come to light.

Recent evidence has surfaced putting Karl Rove front and center as the head-adviser to coach Bill Bilichick during the period of time in which the Patriots were accused of illegally filming NFL football games; games that were reproduced without the expressed written consent of the NFL or its affiliates. These allegations have also caused many fantasy football owners who do not have any Patriots' players on their teams to call for a forfeiture of the Patriots 2007-08 season.

A source, who wishes to remain anonymous, came forward with the following comment:

“After stepping down as President Bush’s top advisor, Mr. Rove became increasingly bored. After rigging a few chess games and at least one shuffleboard contest, Mr. Rove sought to involve himself with more important matters. Calling on a favor from an old associate, Mr. Rove was able to secure a job working alongside his idol, New England Patriots’ coach Bill Bilichick. The combination of their diabolical genius is the sole reason for the Patriots' success this season. When combined, their “do-anything-to-win” philosophy has created a sort of religion in Boston.”

Mr. Rove was unavailable for comment when approached at his home. It should be noted he had already ditched his suit and tie for a less-presentable outfit featuring a Patriots sweatshirt (minus the sleeves) matched with a tight-fitting pair of light gray sweats.

Karl Rove is also under investigation by the NFL over his alleged leak to the press regarding Shawn Merriman’s steroid use, as well as the Charger linebacker’s latest addiction: Yoplait Go-Gurt.

Patriots, Colts or Jets in 2008?: Buster.Gunning@realgm.com

The preceding article was a piece of satirical fiction.

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