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Raiders Looking To Add Another Unproven Running Back

1st May, 2008 - 9:09 pm

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By Buster Gunning

In an effort to keep up on their torrid pace of off-season acquisitions, the NFL’s most underrated team the Oakland Raiders are desperately seeking to add another unproven running back to their offensive arsenal.

The Oakland Raiders spent their 4th pick on combine superstar running back Darren McFadden; however, that has not hindered them from looking to add another running back to their depleted roster.

Owner Al Davis, a man many describe as one of the true gentleman of the NFL, is adamant about his search for a premier unproven running back.

“Well, we have some good backups; obviously Justin Fargas had a good year,” stated an excited Davis. “However, we only really kept him around because he is the son of the legendary Huggy Bear. And let the record show, I like Starsky and Hutch, I don’t care what anybody says.”

Davis continued, “Forget about proven running back Lamont Jordan and budding superstar Michael Bush, my scouts told me Darren McFadden. Darren McFadden can run the ball a mile, Darren McFadden runs a 4.3 40 yard dash. I’d like to see you run a 4.3 40 dash. We like McFadden. However, the fact remains; we need another running back to compliment this trio. We tried for Michael Turner (currently with the Falcons) as well as making a play for any of the running backs in New York, excluding Brandon Jacobs.”

Members of the “Raider Nation”, a territory currently not recognized by the United Nations, had mixed emotions.

Eric Karney, a long time fan of the Raiders from the Los Angeles fans seemed very excited.

“Yeeoooowwwwww!!!! Love my (expletive deleted) Raiders! (Expletive deleted) yeah! This is the year! Bring on the Denver Broncos!

Marissa Moshetti of San Francisco had a different opinion of the Raiders plan.

“Do we really need to invest our money is such pointless sports such as football? We have starving kids in Madagascar! Rampant poverty in Tasmania! There are people in our own city who can’t afford proper medical care or the inalienable right of owning their own iPod? Are professional sports really necessary?”

Who will start at the RB position in Oakland this season?: Buster.Gunning@realgm.com

The preceding article was a piece of satirical fiction.

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